Why?

If I could assign a color to my heart…It’d be blue

The weather is overcast while my spirit is down.

The heavy raindrops beat against the window of my heart as does the pain of my loneliness and insecurity.

Still I won’t cry…In public….

Why?

I must keep up the face…

What face?

You know…

The smiley face interchanged with the spiritual face occasionally substituted by Miss Independent’s face then subsequently settled upon by the face of self-fulfilled un-fulfillment with the hopes of forced contentment.

Why?

Well….I have to…

Why?

Because…

Because What?

Because I am the mask…

The apparatus used to hide my claws and flaws;

The mindset binding my dreams and heart.

The shield protecting my fears, while capturing my ambitions.

This mask I wore I have become.

While trying to protect myself, I have hid myself destroying My Self, confusing myself as to who is My Self thereby destroying My Self.

I am the mask…

You could never know me.

For Me was done away with because of me.

I am always my own worst enemy.

 

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2 thoughts on “Why?

  1. Hmmm – this one hurts the soul, because it is so true. I became my mask – and in finding it to be so, I have begun the tearing away and revelation of the Me behind the mask – oh, it hurts! How raw it feels! But the air on that raw skin will one day grow a new covering – and this time, by God’s grace, it will be just the right size and shape to reveal – just me.

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